Challenge

Ok...this is it. Today I am making a conscious decision to eat healthier and eat less, and in turn hopefully lose some of these dreadful pounds.

As many know, in October I did Miss Indiana USA. Though I didn't place in the competition, I was extremely proud of myself for accomplishing a goal. I vowed to work out and eat healthy-- and I did it! I felt GREAT about myself.

Since then...not so much. I have started eating more and being lax about what I have been eating. And I can tell.

So, today, I am challenging myself. I always say "ok I need to diet" and then to justify NOT dieting when I say I'm going to, I tell myself that when I REALLY want to, just like I did for the pageant, all it takes is for me to make the conscious decision to be healthier.

Today is that decision. I am challenging myself to be conscious of my eating habits, portion sizes, and exercise routine. Starting today I am making this decision, and blogging about it will help. There might be some complaining along the way about how hungry I am or how I long for my tummy to be satisfied, but I know I can do it.

As I've said before, my issue is food. I LOVE food and I love trying new food, trying new restaurants, trying new recipes. I think that I can still love food and still enjoy eating. But I need to remember that food is there to fill a phisiological need. Not to make me happy. And really it doesn't make me happy because satisfying my eternal hunger just means gaining weight.

Granted, I'm not obese and I'm not even close. But I do feel badly about myself for lacking such important self-discipline. So today is the day that I'm changing that. I think it will definitely be a challenge. But I know my hard work will pay off. I can feel better about myself and happier for accomplishing a goal.

Wish me luck :/

Tribute to my bestie.

Yay! I have some followers! And as a tribute to my good friend Sara, who is anxiously awaiting a new post, because she reads them during class when she is bored, I thought I'd give a quick "blurb". And also because I'm happy to know someone is reading these.

I am so excited for this coming weekend because my friends are coming! I love love love my roommates and they make every day fun and I'm SO glad that I live with them! But... being distant from my other good friends who go to other schools (Purdue, ISU, St. Mary's), makes these girls all the more precious to me. Whenever we get together we have too much fun. And they're coming this weekend! I can't wait!!


Friday, we'll probably hit the town now that we're all finally 21 which will be exciting!! And Saturday I am hosting a makeup party. It is Fluhme makeup which is a new line I am excited to try. Our family friends that we used to live in Cincinnati with are coming in from PA to host the party with me, because they are sales representatives for the line. They're going to do makeovers, and I'm going to make tons of food and serve drinks. It will be a really fun girly day! And my preggo big sister is coming from South Bend for the party...she is bringing her husband and his friend, Mike. I'm sure we'll all meet them out after the makeup party. It is going to be a crowded/busy/FUN weekend and I can't wait!

Dreams of these weekend festivities are getting me through the week...especially after my poopy day. I got a parking ticket. Forty bucks :( And I skipped my work-out sesh (but that's fine since I was sore from yesterday's trekking class. And I'm going to trekking with Ally at 7:30 tomorrow. But trekking is a different blog because I LOVE it and need to share my love with my 3 followers).

But, tomorrow is a new day! And one day closer to this weekend with all my favorite people :)

Sundays.

Sundays are definitely my favorite day. I love to get all of my "chores" done...laundry, grocery shopping, etc., and then have the day to relax. I especially love going to church on Sundays. I have been going to Highrock in Bloomington with Bill. Its a newer church, but I find it very personal. I always leave feeling so refreshed and energized. They also have free coffee and bagels which is great!! I really look forward to going each Sunday because the sermons help me to push through my week.

My last post was about wanting things that I don't have and can't afford to buy. Well...looking back after today's message I have a different attitude. This is what I mean about feeling refreshed! Today's sermon was about the evils in pursuing wealth.

People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
-Timothy 6:9-10

Lately, I have felt...definitely not "in-need" or deprived because I know how truly lucky I am in life...but maybe sad because I can't have all of the things that I want. I think sometimes it takes a good reality check for me to remember that the only things I need are happiness and health for my friends and family. Still, its a challenge to remember that at times, especially when I'm so passionate about fashion! Also recently, my MOTHER (grrr..) has been hassling me because of my spending habits. I agree that there are times when I could have made wiser decisions about my spending. But I also think its important to enjoy yourself and indulge at times, within reason.

My challenge is to find a good balance between using the resources God has given me in a wise way, by spending on needs and saving the rest, and between enjoying the time that I have in college and having fun after the hard work that I've done. But...as with everything else...its a learning process and a continual growth.

So...lesson of this Sunday...be appreciative for what you have. Don't be tempted by every new trend. Use money wisely, but enjoy it as a tool for entertainment when you can!

I am broke.

For some reason, with every change of season, I always want new clothes. Is that normal? Now that the weather has been so beautiful the past few days, I want nothing more than to go buy an entire new Spring wardrobe. I know thats impossible, due to my serious lack of funds, but whats really frustrating is that I can't even afford to buy ONE new thing. I mean, I did anyways. But I can't afford it so I feel guilty. I bought a really cute pair of pink Sperrys. They are a need, not a want, because walking to class in my heeled clogs always leads to my humiliation. I can't walk distances in them and I fall or slip or face-plant. So, actually I don't feel bad about that purchase.

But other things I need (ok, really WANT) are some new canvas wedges. Maybe something like this:

I also need (a.k.a. want) some cute capris, some summer sweaters like the ones I saw at Ann Taylor Loft yesterday that have a half-sleeve with buttons:

, a haircut, and facial. And since I recently turned 21, I really love going to restaurants and trying new drinks. Really, I have always loved going to restaurants and buying myself a good meal. Food is sort of a hobby for me because I love trying new cuisines and going to new places. You can probably tell by the extra ten pounds that, like all of these "needs", I could also do without.

Unfortunately, my expenses are way more than my income. It leads me to feel very sad. Especially when I have to pay for new brakes and to get my tires rotated and my oil changed, when what I want to do is indulge in new clothing and pampering myself. I feel like I have an excuse, since I didn't go anywhere for Spring Break. Instead...I'm at home doing homework! I feel like that should earn me a few good shopping and pampering credits. But... I guess life doesn't work that way. It's the sad sad truth.

At least I only have one more semester of school. I just KNOW that when I graduate and get a real job, I'll have all the money in the world to spend on just WHATEVER I want. Right???

My First Post

Hello!

Welcome to my first post ever. Admittely, I've had SOME experience already. It took me about an hour to design this blog (and this is what I came up with? I know, I know. But I'm proud to say that I am NOT an Html nerd.), and then about another hour trying to describe myself in the "About Me" section.

I would like to tell everyone (or no one at all- which is fine by me, especially because I don't know how to "request friends"?) why I wanted to start a blog. I always talk to myself. Out loud, or in my mind. That probably makes me sound crazy, but its true. I always have an opinion, or a thought, or just something I need to say. Sometimes I feel more talky than others, and sometimes I feel more profound than others. Normally, I never take myself so seriously as to actually post my thoughts for the whole world to see, because I don't think that my thoughts are anymore interesting than anyone else's thoughts. And I don't think that anyone will really care about my thoughts. But I think I can really find a good balance here. The good thing about a blog is that no one forces anyone to read it, it's somewhat therapeutic to express yourself in a journalistic type of way, its a form of self-relfection and growth, and its just fun to actually feel like all these thoughts are going somewhere. Plus, I know I can definitely achieve a blog with a less serious attitude.

Anyways, I had thought about starting a blog on one of those nights when I was feeling extra talky and thoughtful. I was like "Man I have such great stuff to say, and since none of my five roommates are home, and my boyfriend is busy, I wish I had a blog." I admired people who had blogs because its like they are confident in who they are and in what they have to say. But, as with many other things in my life, I was too lazy to actually do it. Then, when stalking my younger, much more pensive, and often very artistically brooding sister's Facebook profile, I saw that she had a blog. So, I decided it was time.

And here I am.

So, since I bored you (or again, only myself), with the story of my Blog's life, I'll just get to a quick little summary of what I did today. Because it was one of those things that I wanted to talk about.

I saw Remember Me. It was good. I'm a Robert Pattinson fan, because I really enjoyed the Twilight series and I thought he did a good job in those movies. But...I was skeptical. Is he REALLY a good actor, or just REALLY good looking? I feel like any Robert Pattinson or Dan Druff would have just as much of a following if he was put into the Edward Cullen role. Those Twilight books are creepily enticing. And why wouldn't they be? It's like the perfect mix of emotions, hormones, danger, heroes, and passionate love for girls, teens, and women.

Anyways, I thought he was good in the movie. (Minus a few awkward moments). I heard the movie got really bad reviews so after I saw it I went online and read some of them. But SPOILER ALERT...

The movie did a good job, in my expert opinion, of setting up a love story and drawing in and connecting the audience, just as happens in a new relationship. Then, with a tragedy like 9/11, all of those connections are broken and it feels very tragic. It was a good portrayal of what really happened. Besides the "3000+ lives lost", you "Remember (Me)" that all of those lives were actual people who had actual stories. It was very sad, but good. I'm glad I went.

And, with that, I'll end my first post. Now that my blog virginity is lost I'm not sure if it lived up to my expectations. But I think it did. I quite liked it.