Being an Adult

Is hard. Period. So sit down kids and listen up because I am PISSED.

No, I'm not really pissed, but I am feeling particularly rant-y today and I just want to share some of the life lessons I've learned since becoming an adult (let me just give you a quick preview: I find no advantages, perks, or benefits to having to be fully responsible for yourself- consider that your warning). I know an angry blog isn't a good way to ease myself back into the world of blogging. I'm quite the yo-yo dieter when it comes to blogging. Yo-yo blogger, that's me. Sometimes I'm on top of it and committed to my loyal followers who care so deeply about the going-ons in my life, other times I'm completely negligent. For that, I apologize, because I know it's difficult to sustain your human existence without useless information and very unimportant thoughts about little old me. But...I digress. I should get back to my purpose here today, which is to discuss the wool that has been over my eyes for the past 21 years thinking that everything would be just easy peasy lemon squeezy when you're living on your own. As you all have probably picked up on by now, I am particularly astute, and you'll be proud to learn that I have punched holes through several illusions that I previously held. They are as follows:

1. Having a salary does not mean you are rich. I did not understand this until recently. I thought I was rich, I now know that this is just absolutely false. But I also have learned (the hard way) that it is not a good idea to spend $300 at the nail salon in one month, because it makes the salary you do have deplete a LOT faster. What kind of idiot does that? Oh, yep, that's me. Guilty, but you would be too. Those sweet little people are just so friendly there at Nail2E (or whatever the nonsensical name is) and did you also know that in Chicago when you get your nails done you get a complimentary back massage? Its just heavenly, and it makes it so hard to stay away. Plus its on my block and they know me by name. I have also racked up $15.00 of "mileage" points. Yes, I'm a frequent flyer at my neighborhood nail salon. Sweet.

2. Bills do not pay themselves. Actually nothing gets done by itself. I keep putting things off, simple tasks really, like setting up an IPass account online so that I can track my toll usage. And just as a friendly reminder, when you forget these types of things, your account goes into the negative, and you are then charged $20 for every missed toll, and after 2 weeks of driving, that equals $560 that you owe to the great state of Illinois. Yes, that happens, so let this be a lesson to all.

3. Most of the time it feels like you just live to work. You get up really early to avoid traffic that makes you want to kill yourself, then you work all day, then you can't avoid the life-threatening traffic on the way home, then you get home and are so overwhelmed by all the things you have to do that you didn't do that you just go to bed (plus you're exhausted from rising before the roosters) and then you do the whole thing the next day. Depressing, isn't it?

4A. Cars are expensive to drive in the city, especially when you drive 60 miles a day. Should this surprise me? No. Does it? Yes. Why? Because I'm an idiot. But I blame my mother and father for thrusting me into this life that they did not fully prepare me for. Thanks a LOT. (Just kidding mom...I know you worry about me, evidenced by the 6 times a day that you call me (This is not an exaggeration. I do not worry about myself, at all, whatsoever, because my mother worries about me enough for both of us, for everyone in the family really. Gotta love her) I'm actually a lot more competent than I am making myself out to be and I really do thank my parents for that). Kudos to me for the parenthesis inside the parenthesis.

4B. Everything in the city is expensive. Everything in LIFE is expensive. Grand Judy, where are you when I need you?

Ok ladies and gentlemen thank you for being such a kind audience. In true Lauren fashion, the drama queen inside me needed to speak out, but in reality, I'm seriously thoroughly enjoying life. I really love my job. And I really love my roommate. And I really love living in the city. My friends are amazing and have been coming to visit me a lot...they're pretty entertained by my life that is in shambles most of the time, but I tell them just wait til YOU graduate...joke's on them. We've had tons of fun going out and exploring Chicago. This morning I found Colleen digging her shoes out of the trash can and wiping pizza sauce off of them. We don't know why she got mad at them and threw them away, but they obviously apologized for their offenses and were luckily rescued from the dumpster. Just another one of those mornings. I've had several recently, and actually aside from waking up with what feels like boulders in your brain, the nights that cause these hangovers from hell make life totally worthwhile. (And if there can be a silver lining to a hangover, its that being hungover while being in college sucks because you feel like shart the next day and also have a 6 page paper to write. Not being in college while being hungover means you can just sit in the bathtub all day, or lay in bed, or crawl under your bed, or jump on your bed, or do whatever your little heart desires).

So other than being a horrendous money manager (despite getting Quickens for Christmas and having a very detailed and very specific budget from Doug...who even so diligently allowed $50 a month for office supplies...) and having to fix something or pay something every time I blink an eye, life is just ducky. I'm a lucky girl. In fact, I feel so fortunate and so happy that I would re-title my blog to reflect this blissful state I'm in (I mean the state of my mentality, not the state of Illinois, because Indiana is still way cooler), but "Some Very Important Thoughts" is just so fitting, as I'm sure you would all agree.